


Atone

by fluctuatingidiocy



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Healing, LGBTQ Character, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28079724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluctuatingidiocy/pseuds/fluctuatingidiocy
Summary: After the defeat of Horde Prime, Catra is taken to Brightmoon to await the trial for her war crimes. Glimmer is increasing pressure on Bow and Adora to get rid of their prisoner, as well as the general public of Brightmoon and almost all of Etheria. Meanwhile, Catra is still struggling with her past of leading the Horde, as well as what Horde Prime and Shadow Weaver did to her.
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	1. prologue | 544 words

**Author's Note:**

> this fic has mentions of trauma, abuse, and violence. please proceed with caution!
> 
> ———
> 
> dedicated to my editors + beta readers ♡♡
> 
> dedicated to my gf for being the inspiration for catra and adora's dynamic in this fic ♡♡

She can’t help but notice Catra’s restless stirring in her sleep.

Usually, Catra’s slumber was peaceful, with her curled around Adora’s feet. She would feel the feline’s soft breathing through her back, her heartbeat slow and rhythmic.

However, sometimes Catra would have nightmares, like she was having now. Her pulse would accelerate and she would jolt, causing Adora to wake up. Adora never blamed her. The things she suffered at the hands of Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime still haunted Catra, and she hadn’t gotten over it as quickly as Glimmer had hoped.

Adora sits up and runs her hands through Catra’s hair, keeping her touch gentle. She’s cautious not to wake her up or embrace her, because doing either would end badly. Bow has the scars to prove it. Catra’s spasms continue for a little before she calms down.

After a bit of waiting, Catra’s eyes open. She blinks a few times, registering her surroundings and staring at Adora.

“Adora?” she mumbles out, still half-asleep. “What happened?”

Adora takes her hand and interlaces their fingers. “You were having another nightmare.”

“I was?” Catra uses her free hand to rub her eyes. She squints, trying to recall anything she could remember about it. “I can’t remember if I did. It’s all sort of fuzzy right now.”

“You’ll remember it in the morning or something. Go back to sleep. You need rest.” Adora lets go of Catra’s hand and gives her a small kiss on her forehead.

Catra nods and yawns. “Okay. Goodnight.” She lays back down and closes her eyes once more.

———

“I know that she’s trying her best, but seriously, this is getting ridiculous at this point. We’ve only gone back to the Horde’s old territory with her once, and she has to act like this every time she sees anything that looks remotely like its insignia?”

“Glimmer, you have to give her some time. She’s been through a lot,” Bow rebutts.

Glimmer furrows her brows at him from across the table. “You don’t remember the countless times she’s tried to kill us? How many people she’s hurt? The homes she’s destroyed?” Her hand shakes, and she wills herself not to hit the rhinestone-encrusted table or break any vases in the room. Who knows how priceless those pieces of purple porcelain are.

Bow holds his hands up. “Glimmer, I know you’re mad, but she can’t make up for anything yet unless she heals. She’s just broken away from her past, you can’t blame her for having bad reactions when she sees anything related to it, you know?” He sighs. “How about I take your mind off of it? We can go take a walk outside, I could make you some exotic Thaymorese food, anything like that,” he offered.

“No offense, but your cooking sucks.”

“I’m new to it!” he huffs.

Glimmer crosses her arms. “Maybe we should just do something about Catra. Get rid of her, possibly—”

“ _ Glimmer. _ ” Bow’s voice drops to an irritated whisper. “You can’t do that to her. I know you’re still hurt over the loss of your mom—”

  
“Do  _ not _ bring her up.” Glimmer throws her plate to the floor. The delicate material it’s made of doesn’t stand a chance against the impact, and shatters in an instant.


	2. chapter one | 1013 words

Adora and Bow never leave Catra unattended to the best of their power. They can’t trust anybody in the castle; how can they? All of Brightmoon is in an uproar that she hasn’t paid for her crimes yet. Their cries aren’t without reason, though. Catra  _ did _ destroy many of their homes. And took an entire town hostage. And sided with the person that was going to utilize the planet’s magic to destroy it and kill them all (though, to be fair, she  _ did _ end up changing sides in the end).

The guards sneer at her as she walks through every hallway, and Adora can’t guarantee her safety without supervision. So Catra sticks to her friend’s—or, well,  _ girl _ friend’s—side like glue.

She’s still not used to Adora’s affection. Despite pining for her for so long, and altering reality itself to be with her, this is new to Catra. Luckily, Adora doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. Catra has a hard time understanding why—why Adora doesn’t hate her, why she has to protect her from everyone that wants her head, why Adora came back for her in the first place when she saved Glimmer from Horde Prime.

And even after Adora forgave her, she still hurt her. Catra doesn’t miss the taupe scabs on her back, remnants of the healing wounds she gave Adora when she curled up into her on the ship and drew blood from digging her nails into Adora’s back. Catra’s mind was buzzing so loudly that she could barely process what she was doing. After everything, after  _ finally _ getting what she wanted, it doesn’t feel right to her.

Adora never kissed her on the lips after she almost died at the Heart of Etheria. She knows Catra needs space. That’s what Catra adored the most about their dynamic: they always knew what the other needed.

And right now, what Catra needed was her girlfriend the most. Which she couldn’t have, because Adora had to attend a meeting with the rest of the princesses about the fate she’ll have to meet at the hands of the council.

She acted bored when Adora told her the news, but in reality, her stomach was doing somersaults. She knows that not many of the princesses aren’t very warmed up to her, and they’d rather not keep a war criminal around and betray the kingdoms by keeping her alive.

_ I don’t want to die. _

_ Glimmer would never allow such a thing to happen, would she? _

She bounces her leg and gnaws at her claws with her teeth.

_ I killed her mom. _

Her leg bouncing is speeding up. She needs a way to calm down, but there’s nobody around to talk to. Seconds tick by and pass in a flash and yet her doom is approaching so slowly that it’s driving her insane.

Glimmer seemed like she could forgive her on Horde Prime’s ship. When they both opened up and realized they had more in common than they realized. And that’s when Catra finally understood that she had no reason to live anymore. Glimmer and Bow made Adora happy. She didn’t need Catra.

The only thing that ran through her mind when she decided to free Glimmer was that other people needed her. She was a queen. She was a friend. She was a lover. The least Catra could do was to end her life on a positive note.

She’d die fighting.

“This is suicide,” Catra remembers Glimmer pleading to her, the regent’s voice cracking. The tears in her eyes were one of the last things Catra saw when she got chipped and went under, the millions of voices communicating and filling up her mind.

Glimmer cared back then. She should care now.

_ Right? _

———

Glimmer’s fist thuds as it hits the table, the sound resonating across the meeting room. The council stands around it, most faces turned downward with forlorn expressions. “I will not be taking any suggestions, nor will I be changing my mind,” her voice thunders. “I conclude this meeting.”

“Your Majesty, please,” Adora implores. “Just give it time.”

“The people are restless, Adora. We don’t  _ have _ time. They could break in any day now and take Catra for themselves. Please exit.” Glimmer points an accusing finger at her best friend, and adds, “If you weren’t so attached to her, maybe you’d understand that this is the best for Brightmoon. For  _ all _ of Etheria.”

_ “Glimmer. _ You’ve got to listen to me. You know her. You told me about what she did on the ship.”

“She killed my mother too, which I didn’t see. You don’t know what she’ll do when my back is turned. Meeting is adjourned.”

Adora is left speechless as the guards escort her out.

Netossa shakes her head as Spinarella clings to her arm. Mermista pinches the bridge of her nose. 

“Look, Adora,” she begins, “I know you love her, but she’s hurt a lot of people. You need to think rationally about this. She’s burned down homes, separated families, and even  _ killed _ people.”

Adora opens her mouth to object, but stops herself. She shakes her head and leaves the room, her eyes welling with furious tears.

Mermista turns to Glimmer, who still sits at her council seat. Her hands clench the armrests on her chair, and Mermista decides to leave her be. Instead, she tags along with Scorpia and the other princesses, exiting the room and leaving an eerie, cloying silence behind.

“Scorpia!” Mermista calls out, grabbing her arm—or rather, claw—forcing her to stop.

Scorpia turns around and gives her a confused glance and a half-hearted smile, folding her arms across her chest. “Mermista! What do you need?”

“Can I talk to you?”

———

Adora finally seems to calm down as she opens the doors to her room, looking forward to just talking to her girlfriend about anything and everything except for what could happen to them in the future.

She steps into the room with a resigned sigh. “Hey, I know you don’t like being cooped up here—”

She’s greeted with messy sheets and an empty room.

Catra’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry for taking so long with this. after months of waiting, it’s finally here. i’ll try my best to write more frequently, i try my best to create content you’ll all enjoy, but i also want to craft a story that flows together well. i hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it was worth waiting for ♡♡


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